A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
