Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
