I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
