Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
wow bdsm is so cute
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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