i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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