I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
