Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
