That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
