My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
