He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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