I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
