Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
