i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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