just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
