it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
