I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
