I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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