it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
