I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
