This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
