in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
