so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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