At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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