if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
