Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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