at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
