nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
