You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you win again, gameday.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
