Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
FUCK WHALES
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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