After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
