Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
