Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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