3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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