omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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