Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
