Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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