I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
