Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
