i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
