Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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