I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
