We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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