oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
