you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You took a bar mat shot.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
