I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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