Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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