Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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