yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it hurts more in the daytime
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
