Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
