Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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