After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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