I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
